No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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