Me. At least after what I've been through.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
