I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
