Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
