I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i will never coherently bang her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
