Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
