remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
