You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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