Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
