i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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