Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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