I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
