So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
