i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
