Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
