she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
