According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
