"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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