I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
