i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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