im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
