For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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