They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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