I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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