HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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