Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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