i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
