Your mouth is God's brothel.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
