told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
