hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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