with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
