$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
