my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
