Where is the hickey?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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