Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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