When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
