good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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