The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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