You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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