...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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