You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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