I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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