Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
