I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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