drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I supernannyed him into submission
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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