I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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