Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
no you cant smoke seaweed
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
