Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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