Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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