yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
