Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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