Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
