we have pet lesbian snakes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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