My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
